Don’t you want to say sorry?

We don’t know each other, but I know your name from him. He said you’re a good person. He even told me your sad story with your best friend. At that time, I really wanted to know you. I wanted to be friends because I thought you treated him well — as a human being.

Is it you, right?

I remember you. The girl who said ‘hello’ to me when I was on FaceTime with him. All of his friends, including you, were there, having dinner together. Probably I was there too, through his phone, eating alone, and watching.

At that time, I didn’t know that we would communicate again under different circumstances. At that moment, I didn’t know that you loved what was mine.

I still remember when I called you with his phone in my hand — it was 4 a.m. and I needed to hold my breath to control myself, to tell myself I couldn’t cry while talking to you. I remember, you thought I was joking around, you thought I was one of your friends trying to prank you. I stopped that conversation. I trembled, crying alone.

I texted you, trying to gather the courage to tell you, to ask you. I really wanted a serious answer from you, I really wanted to forgive you, I really needed that clarification from you. But what did you tell me back then? “Go ask him?” At that time, I really hoped at least you could help me know the whole truth. I really tried not to blame you, because I knew you probably didn’t know about me — even though I doubted it.

I knew you cried at the beach with your friend — who was also his friend. I know you were hurt. That’s why I said sorry for telling you, for asking you about the truth — even though he was mine. I really hoped you were okay. I hoped you could find a good person who wasn’t somebody else’s after this situation. I really wanted to meet you at that time, but you refused. I tried to understand.

What you should know about me,
I never hated you and I tried not to. But at that time, when I asked if you felt sorry for me, I also wanted your apology. I even asked myself why I should say sorry when I didn’t do anything wrong.

It hurts me because I wanted to be friends with you when I met you. It hurts me because you didn’t answer my question. It hurts me because you didn’t even say sorry to me.

If you think you were hurt, just remember that my world was shattered.